Supergluing The Peices
by iTwilight
Summary: "Every human breaks down once in their life. But I'm not a normal human. I broke many times. And, the way i broke, was deffinetly going to leave scars." OMC, Mature Content, Rape, Foul Language included.
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note:**

**Hola (: This Is My First Ever Fanfiction - So Don't Judge Harshly ;D This Chapter Is Kind Of A Fill In - And I Really Hate It :P But, Alas, It Is A Important Part In Our Twisted Journey.**

**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Twilight - Stephanie Meyer Does That D:**

* * *

**JPOV**

Alice. My wife, my mate.

_If I can still call her that.  
_

She isn't the Alice I fell in love with all those years ago. She isn't cheerful, or happy or hyper or.. _Alice_. No. She isn't any of that. All she does is sit in our room, staring blankly out of the window. I know her well enough to know that she is flicking through visions. Her emotions were a roller coaster at first. But now-a-days its just sadness. Pure, fucking sadness.

This has been going on for _weeks_.

I miss her, and yet I'm angry at her. What is so 'sad' that she can't even tell me? Her husband?

"Jazz?," A soft voice whispered from across the room. I froze. "Jazz, talk to me, please"

That was it. That was the last straw. I ran vampire-speed and stopped abruptly at her feet.

"What the fuck? How, please, tell me_ how_ can you ask me to talk to _you_ when _you_ haven't even muttered a shitty word to me for weeks!" I was shouting in her face. I didn't care. She deserved it.

"Jasper, sit, please" I did I was told. She never used my name unless what she was talking about was important. She sighed. Her emotions were strong – She was calm, guilty, nervous and happy. How the fuck can someone be calm and nervous at the same time?

"Jasper, this is going to be hard for me to say. I deserve every thing you say to me. I really honestly do," She sighed once more. By the tone of voice she was using – I knew she wasn't done speaking.

"I've been having visions.. visions of you. And your future. I promise, it's going to be a happy one and.. the thing is – it doesn't include me," She looked me dead in the eyes. What was she saying? "It will include me - one day.. but I won't be your wife. We will both one day find our significant others and the truth is, we were never mates. Just remember, i will be here for you. Everyone loves you. I just don't love you the way i did before - now all i see you as is.. a brother. We were never ment for each other and one day you will find that there is someone out there, who will love you way more than i ever could"

She didn't love me any more? I closed my eyes. I couldn't bear to see her eyes piercing my soul once more. I didn't want to tell her I didn't love her either – it would seem too easy. It would be solid evidence that we were never mates. I was supposed to suffer. I was supposed to neglect the fact that she didn't love me. We were supposed to be mates for fucks sake!

_We were never mates._

I wanted to be angry at her for doing this to me. For putting me through weeks of hell. But i couldn't. I had to forgive her – i owed her too much. She brought me to the Cullen's. She changed my way of life. She was there for me through my countless slip ups. She helped me.

Slowly, I opened my eyes and gave her a half smile. Alice beamed up at me and crushed me into a hug. I fell into the embrace. We stayed that way for minutes, then we pulled apart. And now I saw her in a different light. In a way a brother might see his sister. I walked human pace to the front door and i managed to hear Alice whisper;

"Run, Jazz, run. Go where your heart takes you – I'll tell Esme and Carlisle"

So that's what I did. I ran.

* * *

**A/N**

**I Know. Crap As Cactus Crap. You Know What? I'll Post The Next Chapter To Make Up For This Crappy One :)**

**Oh, And Review Please (: They Make Me Feel Like I'm Doing This For A Reason. This IS Gonna Be A Good Story. I Can Promise You That ;D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors Note:**

**Aha! I Promised I Would Upload Again Today To Make Up For Last Times Crappy Chap (This Isnt The BEST Either. I Think This Must Be Banana Crap :P) I Think I Might Upload Once/Twice Daily Depending On If I Feel Generous. :D We Finally Meet Bella!**

* * *

**JPOV**

I ran. I had no idea where I was going. I just ran.

Running. The only clue Alice had left me to unlocking my future.

**BPOV  
**

My life was scheduled. No surprises, nothing new. I would wake up, eat a spoonful of cereal, go to school, come back, do homework, check emails, sleep.

I was stupid.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I still checked my emails. It's been 4 months. And yet, I still wait for _him_. But I don't love him any more. No, that would just be selfish and unfair. That would hurt me.

_Yeah, and he's never hurt you before. Fuckward. _

I had realised I was not good enough for him. I was just like a picture to him. To be looked at, to never be touched. Or I was just like a pet. Stupid human who meddled with vampires and fell in love with one. I was a fool.

I just wish I had a chance to... see him. To shout at him. To tell him that I _never, ever _want to talk to him again. That would make me happy.

_No, it wouldn't._

No. My inner voice was right. That wouldn't make me happy. It would just keep my satisfied. I will never be happy again. I haven't been truly happy since_ they _left.

I've made so many stupid mistakes. The people I loved paid for them. I sighed as I slid on top of the comforter. I didn't use it any more. I liked the cold, It helped me grow immune to the pain. My hand crept underneath the pillow and removed a sharp pocket knife. I pressed it to my wrist and quickly slid it across my skin. Relief washed through me.

I was awake long enough to see bright red droplets of blood drip out onto the white blanket.

**JPOV  
**

It was pitch-black now. Darkness surrounded me. Not that it made much difference, me being a vampire and all. I looked around for the first time since I began running. The place was very familiar. Where have I seen this place before?

Just then the most delicious smell drifted towards my nose. I was hungry. Very hungry. I lost all rational thought. My legs pushed against the ground, harder, faster. I Needed to get to my prey.

I climbed in through a small white window and abruptly stopped breathing.

The smell.

_Her_ smell.

Bella's smell.

My eyes dashed towards the white bed and my eyes felt like they were being stretched apart.

If I could feel my own emotions, one would definitely be shock.

Bella was pale. Not normal-for-Bella pale. But ultra pale. Sickly pale. _Vampire_ Pale. Her hair was longer, a few inches above her belly button. She was wearing a black top with spaghetti straps and pyjama bottoms that were baby blue with big black spots. All of her clothing seemed too big for her. She seemed unnaturally skinny.

But the worst part of it all was her arms. Scattered up and down them were thousands of pink angry scars and at her wrist.. a fresh, new cut. The blood was still pouring out and I was becoming uncomfortable. I couldn't smell the blood – I wasn't breathing. I didn't need to but it was getting uncomfortable.

I was angry. I had done this to her, I had caused Edward to leave her. I had caused _this. _It was much worse than Alice. Much, much worse. I wanted to breathe. I wanted to _feel_ something other than anger and self loathe. But If I tasted Bella's blood in the air – I would kill her. There was nobody to stop me. But I had to do this some day. Edward – he had to face this once. So I would too. I would face this.

Still holding my breath, I ran vampire-speed downstairs to the kitchen. I grabbed a kitchen roll and ran back upstairs. Might as well make it less tempting to be a _monster_. I knelt on the floor, facing the blood and slowly grabbed a handful of paper towels. I started mopping up the blood. This had all started because I couldn't control my fucking blood lust. And it could sure as hell all end because I can't control my fucking blood lust. I would have to learn to. Did this mean I was going to stay in Forks?

Deep down I knew the answer was yes. How could I ever leave her like this? Knowing this was my fault? I was almost drowning in the guilt. Then I heard her _speak.  
_

"All.. my.. fault.." Her voice was so.. soothing. I didn't remember her voice being so beautiful. I quickly realised that I must have been projecting my guilt. I felt for her emotions – I could feel.. nothing.

What. The. _Fuck.  
_

I was scared.

I did the only thing I could do.

I ran.

* * *

**Authors Note**

**Who wants to hit Jasper on the head with a pickle jar? I Do :P Wheres The Brave Jasper We Have All Grown To Know And Love? Thats For Me To Know And For You To Find Out ;D**

**I Feel Abit On The Crazy Side. Review Me And Tell Me What YOU Dare Me To Do (: I Shall Write Back The Outcomes!**


	3. I Found My Documents To The Story :

This is not a authors note saying im stuck with idea's because i'm NOT.

I kinda lost the documents to the story, and i have now found them :)

Woop!

I shall update soon.


	4. Chapter 3

**Authors Note:**

**Helloo :D Anyone There? Doesn't seem like it. Only 1 review? You can do better than that :) **

**- Etraxler - My First REVIEWER! :) I love you. Honestly. :P**

**Disclaimer: I own twilight and Jasper, and Bella, And Edward, And Jacob, And Emmett, And THE UNIVERSE!***

***In My Dreams**

**BPOV  
**

"_Bella. I always told you to pick me, not him. And yet you wait for him" Jacob snarled at me  
_

"_No..please..Jake.." He wasn't the Jake I knew and loved. This was the new Jake – the Alpha.  
_

"_No! Bella! Its too late. I love someone else!," He poured petrol on the house "You must pay for what you have caused.. you must learn to take responsibility for your own deeds"  
_

"_What are you doing? No.. please..don't!" My voice was course, dry, worn out.  
_

_He didn't listen to me. He lit a match and started the fire.  
_

"_NO! CHARLIE!," I sobbed noisily, I broke down, falling into nowhere "all..my..fault.."  
_

_Jacob just phased, growled and ran from my life. I was alone. Everyone had left me.  
_

_I heard a ear splitting scream. Then I realised it was coming from me.  
_

_*** *** *** *** *** ***_

I shot straight up from my bed. I fell down almost right away and landed with a loud 'Humph' on the floor beside my bed. A sigh escaped my chapped lips and I pushed myself up so I was standing. So far, so great.

Then I checked for blood. I always did this, it helped me feel stronger. I wasn't going to be the weak human who was afraid of blood. No, I was just going to be the weak human. I scanned the white duvet and all I saw were a few dry dark red patches. No blood. I froze. Next to it was a bunch of paper towels.

_That_. Was. Weird.

I slowly walked towards the bathroom. Counting each step.

_Had they come back?  
_

No. I couldn't let myself be hopeful.. there must be a rational explanation for all this...

But I couldn't find one – no matter how hard I tried.

I switched on the light and it dimly shone, lighting the small room. I turned on the shower to medium and stripped. As I carefully stepped into the shower (so not to trip) I started thinking about life. So much could change in four months. How could he think I could lead a normal life? After they came? I was so faithful, so gullible.

All those smiles – _Lies.  
_

All those compliments –_ Lies.  
_

All that safety – _Lies.  
_

Alice was supposed to be my best friend. What kind of best friend was she now?

Jasper.. I don't even know him. _He _had said it wasn't safe.

Emmett – I probably missed him most out of everyone. He was my cuddly big brother, who made fun out of me but also loved me.

_Lies.  
_

Rosalie hated my fucking guts. I didn't know why, I didn't care. She left. No biggie.

Esme and Carlisle... I cant even talk about them. I wanted to cry. I couldn't. I didn't let any tears come out any more – it wasn't safe. It was a sign of weakness.

I sighed as I got out of the shower and grabbed any random articles of clothing and put them on.

I skipped the breakfast altogether, I didn't eat much normally. I just didn't have the appetite.

Climbing into the rusty red vehicle, I started my predictable day.

**JPOV  
**

How? How? How?

How can she have no fucking _feelings_?

We had hurt her, that much was obvious.

I am such a fucking_ pansy._

I left her again. Even though she wasn't completely awake, I still left her.

Sighing, I tried putting my mind on other things.

Like where in the heck am I going to stay.

I didn't want to go back to the Cullen residence. It didn't feel... right. I felt a imaginary lightbulb pulse above my head.

I am a Whitlock now.

I am Jasper Fucking Whitlock.

And Jasper Fucking Whitlock has his own home.

* * *

The house was beautiful, but very unlike the Cullen's home. Which, in my mind, only made it better. It wasn't outrageously big but – unfortunately - being a Cullen for a short period of time had made me extremely comfortable in large homes.

I had heaps of money anyway.

The house was surrounded by tree's, it was very concealed – although it was just a short run away from the Cullen's house. The drive away was covered in a variety of sandy brown coloured patio pea gravel. There was a dark grey curvy path leading from the tree's to the doorstep of the three story luxury home, and the door was a ebony black.

I slowly unlocked the door and crept in, turning on the light. I basic just stepped into the living room. The room had a red mahogany hardwood floor, which was, of course, extremely shiny and smooth. In the middle of the spacious room was a large shaggy rug.

Around the room edges were black leather sofa's. The wall that was facing the front door had a large wooden fireplace. Just above the mantel piece (which was decorated with 'family' pictures and small nick nacks) was a 50 inch flat screen television.

I smiled gingerly, as I moved towards the family pictures. Maybe I just needed to remember the good times.

My smile blew up into a full goofy smile when I looked at the photograph which was encased in a thick, shiny, black photo frame. It was set in front of the Cullen house; Esme and Carlisle were hugging, Alice and Edward were glaring at each other, Emmett was spinning Bella bridal style and Rosalie and I were laughing at them. My smile dropped when I realised something.

I was trying to look at Alice. I really, really was – but all I could see is Bella.

And how breathtakingly beautiful she looks when she laughs.

**Authors Note:**

**Did i make up for my absence? :) **

**And Guess _WHAT_? I Know A Way In Which You Can Congratulate Me! *Wink*Wink*Review*Wink*Wink**


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